Unlocking my root chakra, uniting science and spirituality, becoming Jason Bourne, and waiting for Godot in the bathroom line. This episode is about how my literal shit is a metaphor for my shit and how all people are all ultimately the same in death and diarrhea.
Turning poop into compost and even consciousness and transforming other #mishaps into #mishapportunities!
#Mishapportunities aka Clumsy Wisdom:
The only thing you have to fear...
FDR said the greatest thing we have to fear is fear itself, so clearly he never had diarrhea. If he had, he would know the sudden and urgent onset of diarrhea when you realize you have no toilet paper and there is no bathroom in sight is a very real, legitimate, and universal fear. In these, moments you have no choice but to put your faith in a higher power to deliver you and your shit. #deathAndDiarrhea
On being Jason Bourne
Immediately I transformed into the first gay, glasses-wearing, multiracial Jason Bourne and went into fight or flight mode, or as I like to call it, normal, everyday adult life. Immediately my surroundings started to blur and everything started moving in slowmo so I literally became a slow homosexual or slowmo. #slowmo.
On La Injusticia de La Leche
I’ve been living my Argentine telenovela "La Injusticia de La Leche" where I play myself; a gay man who has finally arrived in a place where he feels accepted in all his gayness. He’s finally found somewhere where being short and brown is sexy, so the men are attracted to him and the feeling is mutual. Yet his tragic flaw is that he can’t have sex because he’s a lactose intolerant gay bottom and doing so would unleash a bomb of deathly flatulence that would destroy the very country that made him feel so free. [Turns dramatically away and sheds slow, solitary tear while looking tragically into the distance] #LaInjusticiaDeLaLeche
On Waiting for Godot in the Bathroom Line
Therefore to bear witness to the universality of our humanity, look no further than the bathroom line. Particularly, the bathroom line at big annual celebrations, events, and festivals because there you will find huge cross sections of society all lined up neatly next to each other, like an accidental social experiment or test of faith. Forget Lord of the Flies; the bathroom line is the true microcosm of humanity. If you were to watch a recording of the bathroom line at any such major event, you could be forgiven for thinking it was just some reality TV show. But it’s really much more like a superhero movie or the plot of "Waiting for Godot".
For me, there’s nothing more beautiful seeing a rich bitch waiting patiently next to a simple Sally in the bathroom line. In the outside world, maybe one would look down at the other and the other would think the other is full of shit. But in the bathroom line, they stand together in shared silence, waiting for deliverance at the altar of the toilet, both trying not to judge eachother for the fact that they are both humans who all occasionally need to take a dump. #deathAndDiarrhea #deliveranceAtTheToiletAltar