Mishaps with my Voice

February 4, 2018

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Mishaps with my Voice

February 4, 2018

Fun fact - 50% of the time I’m mistaken for a woman on the phone. 96.7% if I’m speaking with someone from below the Mason-Dixon line. I'll be sharing my encounters with surprised and unintentionally aggressive pharmacy employees and elementary school children who were astounded that my voice was attached to my particular persona, as well as my overall journey to embrace my meditation tape-ready voice to eventually make this podcast.

 

Let's make some #mishapportunities!

 

#Mishapportunities aka Clumsy Wisdom:

 

 

On finding the sliver lining

I have an extremely singular and magical voice. With its ultrasonic, Nazgul-like tenor, it has the uncanny ability to irritate even the most empathetic of humans and strike fear into the hearts of dogs and other small land animals whose range of hearing is above our own. What’s more it means I never need to come out to anyone ever. I have to say spending so much time correcting people on my name, when it’s not 9am, it’s nice to have one thing I never have to explain. It has truly saved me so much time and energy throughout my “adult” life.

 

On melanin, nature's SPF

“But Misha - you’re already equipped with an sun protectant from a trusted brand called melanin!” That’s true listeners! In fact, my particular line of melanin gives me a reliable SPF 40 that usually serves me well… but sometimes Horus is being extra AF and you need to kick it up a notch. On these days I need a little help from the best skin protection corporate America created so that white people could recolonize the world on their imperialist vacations.

 

 

On pharmacies and The Voice (the show)

My experience at the pharmacy was pretty much exactly like the show The Voice, except where the contestants have no singing talent whatsoever…but they possess something perhaps even more meaningful. Instead of their aspirations to “make it” as singer, their quest is the noble pursuit of hydrated and sun-protected skin, which, if you really think about it, is a far more universal, human, and primal struggle. I think it makes for a much more compelling narrative. #wetnessIsTheEssenceOfBeauty

 
On being organic

When I moved to Buenos Aires I discovered standup, which allowed me to talk about gay shit, literal shit, all the and random shitty experiences I had been holding in for the past 5 years of my repressed, corporate life. That’s a lot of shit I had been holding in all the years. It was pretty much like for my entire serious, corporate life I had been suffering from chronic constipation and when I got to Argentina and could finally be myself again in all aspects of life I allowed myself to take that huge, cathartic, much-needed dump. I hadn’t realized just how full of shit my life had been until I finally let it go. And you know, when I finally did let it all out, it came out so naturally and was really organic that people really ate that shit up. #letItGo #fullOfShit #USDAOrganic

 

 

 

 

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